This is what losing your best friend actually feels like.

HO! HO! I am back. Gosh, I missed being here.

The whole rush of posting and the fear of waiting and the craziness all of this involves. I missed this.

First of all, I am sorry about not being around for a while. My email subscribers know the reasons and I hope they have forgiven me.

If you haven’t. Then I am sorry but life really took over the wheel.

I really regret the decision of giving up. I apologise. I won’t do that again.

SO I am back and going to publish on every Saturday.

Just like before.  

I really hope to see you all there again.

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 You can be ready for a war but not for losing a best friend.

 You didn’t see it coming. You are still trying to figure out the hows and whys of it all.

One moment everything was great, you both were laughing and making promises to stay. Heck, you both had dreams to go on a road trip.

Forever was something that seemed possible. You honestly believed you both could go through anything that life threw at you.

There was a bond you both had, a certain trust and a little maturity. What else could a friendship need?

Yes, friendship.

It gets difficult because if you lose a lover, you still have your best friend to rant to. But if you lose your best friend there are stones in your throat and even when you try telling other people things. You cannot tell the whole story even if you try. How can you? They are not your best friend!

Losing a best friend is like losing your partner in crime, your three am call and your cheerleader all at once.

Yet there is so much more than that.

You cannot sneak past guards and barge into a random building to see the terrace with anyone else. No one understands how valuable a zulubar is or how relatable that one song is. You cannot laugh on old memories with anyone else.

Losing a best friend is hard and nobody tells us about it. They tell us all about the romantic heartbreak but what about what a friend can do to you?

They know things that you don’t want to face yourself.

They don’t judge you, they love you without any ulterior motive. They are the ones that you call at the end of the day and cry your heart to.

Maybe that is why it hurts so much. Maybe losing your best friend teaches you to not depend on anyone too much.

It is sad but it is a part of your life. It will teach you about being independent. It’ll teach you about being alone, it’ll teach you to give life more chances.

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Losing your support will be like falling deep into water, without any oxygen in your lungs. It feels like trying to grab on to something so you don’t fall. But everything you grab is either broken or slippery. Yet, remember that after a while, even if it feels more than that,  you will come up to breath and you will realise you don’t need to hold on to anything even if you fall.

You will accept, it is okay to fall. I mean, how else do you learn to fly?

It is sad, yes, but it makes you stronger. It reminds you to always be there for yourself.

Losing a best friend teaches you that no matter what happens, Life goes on.

Losing a best friend teaches you that no matter what happens, life goes on. You need to, too.

It will hurt, it will hurt when your family members will ask you about them.

It will hurt when something great happens in your life and you won’t have your best friend to tell about it. It will hurt when you are going through a bad time and the only person you want to talk to, is them. It will hurt when something will remind you of those times and you won’t have anyone to share it with.

You can be ready for a war but not for losing a best friend.

You hope one day you both will meet and everything will be forgotten. Maybe, that will happen but you need to be okay even if it doesn’t. It is always tough leaving the past behind and keep moving forward.

But you will find new people ahead, you will connect with them. It will pop in your head that they aren’t like your best friend and you will know they can never be.

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You’ll find new people again, new friends that will be there for you. You’ll find new people to laugh with and cry with. It’ll happen painfully slowly but it will happen.

So Miss them, it is okay to. Cry it out, it is necessary to, write them a goodbye letter or say ‘goodbye’ out in the winds.

Then go out and make some new friends.

Darling, hold on. You can get through this and you will.

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Why don’t you tell me your and your best friend’s silliest story down in the comments.