This is what losing your best friend actually feels like.


HO! HO! I am back. Gosh, I missed being here.
The whole rush of posting and the fear of waiting and the craziness all of this involves. I missed this.
First of all, I am sorry about not being around for a while. My email subscribers know the reasons and I hope they have forgiven me.
If you haven’t. Then I am sorry but life really took over the wheel.
I really regret the decision of giving up. I apologise. I won’t do that again.
SO I am back and going to publish on every Saturday.
Just like before.  
I really hope to see you all there again.

 

 You can be ready for a war but not for losing a best friend.
 You didn’t see it coming. You are still trying to figure out the hows and whys of it all.
One moment everything was great, you both were laughing and making promises to stay. Heck, you both had dreams to go on a road trip.
Forever was something that seemed possible. You honestly believed you both could go through anything that life threw at you.
There was a bond you both had, a certain trust and a little maturity. What else could a friendship need?
Yes, friendship.
It gets difficult because if you lose a lover, you still have your best friend to rant to. But if you lose your best friend there are stones in your throat and even when you try telling other people things. You cannot tell the whole story even if you try. How can you? They are not your best friend!
Losing a best friend is like losing your partner in crime, your three am call and your cheerleader all at once.
Yet there is so much more than that.

You cannot sneak past guards and barge into a random building to see the terrace with anyone else. No one understands how valuable a zulubar is or how relatable that one song is. You cannot laugh on old memories with anyone else.
Losing a best friend is hard and nobody tells us about it. They tell us all about the romantic heartbreak but what about what a friend can do to you?
They know things that you don’t want to face yourself.
They don’t judge you, they love you without any ulterior motive. They are the ones that you call at the end of the day and cry your heart to.
Maybe that is why it hurts so much. Maybe losing your best friend teaches you to not depend on anyone too much.
It is sad but it is a part of your life. It will teach you about being independent. It’ll teach you about being alone, it’ll teach you to give life more chances.
Losing your support will be like falling deep into water, without any oxygen in your lungs. It feels like trying to grab on to something so you don’t fall. But everything you grab is either broken or slippery. Yet, remember that after a while, even if it feels more than that,  you will come up to breath and you will realise you don’t need to hold on to anything even if you fall.
You will accept, it is okay to fall. I mean, how else do you learn to fly?
It is sad, yes, but it makes you stronger. It reminds you to always be there for yourself.
quote_wp
Losing a best friend teaches you that no matter what happens, Life goes on.
Losing a best friend teaches you that no matter what happens, life goes on. You need to, too.
It will hurt, it will hurt when your family members will ask you about them.
It will hurt when something great happens in your life and you won’t have your best friend to tell about it. It will hurt when you are going through a bad time and the only person you want to talk to, is them. It will hurt when something will remind you of those times and you won’t have anyone to share it with.
You can be ready for a war but not for losing a best friend.
You hope one day you both will meet and everything will be forgotten. Maybe, that will happen but you need to be okay even if it doesn’t. It is always tough leaving the past behind and keep moving forward.
But you will find new people ahead, you will connect with them. It will pop in your head that they aren’t like your best friend and you will know they can never be.
You’ll find new people again, new friends that will be there for you. You’ll find new people to laugh with and cry with. It’ll happen painfully slowly but it will happen.
So Miss them, it is okay to. Cry it out, it is necessary to, write them a goodbye letter or say ‘goodbye’ out in the winds.
Then go out and make some new friends.
Darling, hold on. You can get through this and you will.
***
Why don’t you tell me your and your best friend’s silliest story down in the comments.
Advertisements

25 thoughts on “This is what losing your best friend actually feels like.

  1. I’ve lost my best friend of 22 years. :,( it’s been a little over 1 year since she stopped talking to me, the last event I got to enjoy with her was her wedding, and as happy as I was for her finding happiness, I was hurt seeing her choose another friend to serve as the bridesmaid, I should have been. I remember her telling me about the wedding, asking me to be a bridesmaid, and I felt honored. I knew the other girls and maid of honor was going to be her sisters, because that’s what her parents wanted, but I was closer to her than any of her sisters, I knew her better than any other friend or family member. Next thing I know, she is having her bachelorette party and I wasn’t even invited. I didn’t say anything, I still remained happy for her and showed no ill feelings, but knew something was wrong. Anyway, the wedding was wonderful and as the time passed I tried to enjoy every moment to the fullest extent. Seeing her family, which was like my own family, watching her dance with her father and have a dance with her new husband. I felt moved by the events and emotional, I guess something like a mother would feel watching her daughter get married. All while her new friend and bridesmaid spent almost the entire wedding making out with her boyfriend at the wedding party table. I felt like the other girl didn’t care at all what was going on, her actions showed it, and it hurt to acknowledge that my best friend of 22 years now places this new friend in higher regards. I still said noting and remained smiling and sweet. Next thing I notice is her being very bitter towards me on social media. She only left comments on my fb posts if she had something negative to say. I ignored this behavior for months, then finally called her out on it, and said “then maybe we shouldn’t be fb friends”. I gave her space and tried calling 2 months later just to say hi, when she told me “what do you want? If it’s my friendship it’s no longer on the table”. I was shocked, angry and hurt. I said ok and accepted her choice. Only recently I texted her, trying to reach out to her again. She called me she said to give me closure. She said she felt like her life was moving forward and mine wasn’t, that she just figured she grew out of our friendship”. 😦
    We weren’t just any friends, Janet and I were 100% loyal to each other, supportive, honest, caring etc. you don’t find a friendship like ours very often, in fact I told her many times I felt very blessed in life to have found a best friend like her. Now, she’s gone and I still have trouble believing it. I know she was a true friend, but true friends don’t just leave, they never give up or go away. I still haven’t given up on her, and my heart aches for her. I miss her, I miss her smile, her laugh, her understanding, her humor, her loyal friendship to me. Janet..if you ever see this, know I’ll always love you and never forget you. -Lic

    Like

  2. During my first few years of university my girlfriend was also my Best Friend – probably a bit more central to my life that was healthy. When the relationship ended I also came close to …ending. It’s a flavor of pain that you can’t imagine until you taste it.

    Like

  3. It’s nice to see that you can take the loss of something you care about and turn it into a learning experience for growth.

    There is a quote about ‘when one door opens…’ that really strikes a note here 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, I had a best friend. He’s now my boyfriend. Growing up I saw all my female friends to have the same gender best friend. They could share tiniest of things with each other. But I never had the fortune to have a girl friend so close,who I could say is my best friend. After I met Yash I realized I was able to share with him all what happens in my life.
    Hell, I could even tell him how bad my periods went. The day I had a crush on my classmate,how uncomfortable I get when I see that person.
    After two years of friendship and one year into a relationship I can still call him up and tell how I stalked a senior in my college and both of us were checking each other out.

    Like

  5. Oh my gosh, we have sooo many stories. My favorite of all (and I even have it on video) is when I hear her screaming from her room about “damn cookies!” and I see smoke trailing into my side through our adjoining bathroom. I run over and she is flapping a textbook next to the smoke alarm so it won’t go off and send the whole 5 story building of college girls outside. And it’s all because she tried microwaving a cookie. I’m giggling my head off at the whole scene and immediately start recording her jumping up and down fanning. The clip I got ends with her saying, “ugh, story of my life” and I love it more than anything because it’s the story of OUR life, our life of the silliest and most random mishaps together. She cried at my wedding because she couldn’t get over being so happy for me, she cried when I lost my first baby and then the second and the third. She gets excited with me when my plants grow new fruit and she distracts me when I’m down with funny cat videos. I wouldn’t trade her for anything.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my god. That literally sounds like friendship goals! Something like that is just worth so much! I loved reading about your friendship. It got a smile on my face just imagining the scene. 😂That’s the thing though right? Best friend stays together for anything. They be happy for us more than we are happy for us and in return it just makes us happy too! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! It really is a beautiful friendship! Hope it keeps growing!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. She just text me, squealing over how she has proof to suspect her boyfriend is proposing soon!! It certainly is a friendship worth everything to me 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. My best friend is my wife. Through thick & thin for over 32 years.
    For the past 10 years my other best friend is my work colleague, a lady called Nicola. She’s almost like a work wife. This last week a very close work friend whom I’ve known for over 30 years was made redundant. I just don’t understand our company. For all the years of dedication he was tossed aside. No doubt it’ll be called cost saving. There’s only one or two of us ‘old gang’ left. How long before it’s my turn? Apologies if this isn’t appropriate.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I myself am just recently learning that the corporate world isn’t the most sweet place to be in but getting kicked out after thirty years! That is ruthless. That too with an excuse of “cost cutting”. I hope your old friend is okay and finds a better place for his loyalty. It makes me so happy to see that you mentioned your wife before anyone as your best friend, that is the kind of relationship I aim for. Thank you for ranting out here. I really appreciate it. I really hope your other friend is doing well. There must be tough times for him ahead.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My wife, Sue is everything to me.
        My friend Rod will be fine. At 55 he’s not worried. There’s always something out there for his line of work. The only benefit to our place is they are very generous with the pay offs. We’ll meet up regularly.
        Sorry again for the rant. Thanks Phil

        Like

  7. Best friend huh !!
    Ummm…..
    There is one whom I think of as my the closest of all but sometimes she even makes me wonder if I am that much important her as she is to me.
    But then, everyone has their own priorities and you just can’t keep expecting.
    For her, I am and I will always be there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Every friendship doesn’t need validation by talking every day. Just because someone is busy doesn’t mean they dont think you are important to them. Hope you speak to her and sort it out 🙂 Thanks!

      Like

  8. Welcome back Jade! 🙂 It keeps happening with all of us, disappearing from our blog for a while and then rushing back one fine day realising what a beautiful thing we are missing!

    Losing a dear friend is truly a horror. Once it happened with me. My friend got angry and said she will break friendship. I felt like an earthquake. I tried everything to bring back things to normal. But she was not willing. After 6-7 months she started talking to me and slowly we became friends again. And now it’s been 7 years and we have remained best friends. 🙂

    Like

  9. My best friend is my sista from another mista… we have been together for nearly 25 years as best friends. WE don’t see each other much but a period of no contact is wiped away with one phone call… she always says I chatted her up, the first time we met… a slight untruth lol! I asked where our pigeon holes were on the first day at University! Since then, she has been a huge part of my life, from us dressing up identically, to her looking out for me as a drunken student, from being there for each other in relationship woes to being the best girl at the weddings, and now supporting each other as we are both mothers… I can’t imagine life without her!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is such a beautiful friendship goal. This is exactly what I hope for, for my friendship with my friend. It is so wonderful to think that Friendships evolve with time and change to give us comfort. Friendships like those are the ones that give all of us hopes. I guess, there just are some people who we can talk to even after an entire year and it wouldn’t even feel like that amount of time. Thank you so much for sharing the story with us. and commenting, I must accept I was a little nervous about putting out a post after so long. It feels good to see you again!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s