Suddenly its been a while since they left. You are finally learning how to live without them. It has been a while since you accepted they wont return. You know because you waited. You waited for too long.
Then one day suddenly you randomly hear their name on the street. By the most whisper by two giggling girl. You hear their name and your world stops still. Your heart starts racing and your mind goes blank and everything runs back to your head. The memories, the tingles, the loneliness it all comes back again. Your eyes start tearing up and your grip on the coffee mug loosens. You bite your lip , yell at yourself to get on with it. But you just cannot. Not anymore. A lone tear makes its escape down your cheeks against your will. Just a name is all it takes.
She lay there on the ground broken to bits with the darkness hugging her, the pieces of her heart lay scattered on the floor all around her. She looked around helplessly and tried fixing the broken pieces but ended up making it even worse.
Nothing seemed to be working. Nothing could be fixed she thought. She covered her face with her hands and broke down. Her shoulders were shivering and her whimpers were audible but there was no human to hear them there. She was all alone, or so she thought.
When she looked up again she saw an angel sitting there carelessly but sporting a worried expression. The winged lady asked her to cry more ,so the little girl did.
The angel preached that the tears always healed the wounds of the heart but the girl couldn’t explain how tired she was of crying for him so she just didn’t say anything in return.
But It was as if the angel could read her thoughts so she changed the topic throwing the girl off hand, she asked
“Why do you keep chasing his memories around in circles?”
So you are back here again? In this dark place you hate? You’ve been here before. You’ve been this low with no hope.
This isn’t the first time. Look around you have been here.
It’s the same darkness you fought your way out of. Remember how grateful you were for the whole fight after it was over? Remember how your last fight made you so much more stronger, so much more of a warrior and so much more proud of your own self? So what you are you back here for? Back in this place where you are thinking defeat is good?
So what you can’t see a way out again?
You are here for a reason, a lesson you need to learn.
So stop trying to run away because it scares you. Stop running. And look around first, look at the darkness, look at why you even feel so hopeless.
Maybe it is something big. Maybe it is something very small or maybe it isn’t anything at all. That doesn’t matter. Stop being so scared of the darkness within you honey.
You’ve seen and accepted your light, it’s time to love your dark too.