I saw you today. I saw you and thought of how that was supposed to be me, the one holding flowers for you in that tiny cafe by the sixth Street , the one that watched you laugh today, the one that played with your hair and your lips, the one to love you. It was supposed to be me. But it wasn’t.
Instead, I was the one that stood there and watched, as you smiled adorably at him just the way you used to smile at me at some point. I saw, you wore the bracelet I gave to you, on a date with him. Glad you took a part of me with you.
Don’t Go There….
Don’t go in that house of your memories
There is nothing new to be found
Just weaknesses that your heart had shed
Lying all over the ground
Don’t go over there
Those pieces are like shards of glasses
And you won’t even scream as
They will make you bleed
Don’t go there because
you will keep going further
to search him in the mysterious darkness
We all know he isn’t there
Don’t go there because
She lay there on the ground broken to bits with the darkness hugging her, the pieces of her heart lay scattered on the floor all around her. She looked around helplessly and tried fixing the broken pieces but ended up making it even worse.
Nothing seemed to be working. Nothing could be fixed she thought. She covered her face with her hands and broke down. Her shoulders were shivering and her whimpers were audible but there was no human to hear them there. She was all alone, or so she thought.
When she looked up again she saw an angel sitting there carelessly but sporting a worried expression. The winged lady asked her to cry more ,so the little girl did.
The angel preached that the tears always healed the wounds of the heart but the girl couldn’t explain how tired she was of crying for him so she just didn’t say anything in return.
But It was as if the angel could read her thoughts so she changed the topic throwing the girl off hand, she asked
“Why do you keep chasing his memories around in circles?”
It took my breath away,
It felt so good that someone out there read
The mess I wrote
Then there were flashy tags and bright headlines
Trying to teach me something I already knew,
So you are back here again? In this dark place you hate? You’ve been here before. You’ve been this low with no hope.
This isn’t the first time. Look around you have been here.
It’s the same darkness you fought your way out of. Remember how grateful you were for the whole fight after it was over? Remember how your last fight made you so much more stronger, so much more of a warrior and so much more proud of your own self? So what you are you back here for? Back in this place where you are thinking defeat is good?
So what you can’t see a way out again?
You are here for a reason, a lesson you need to learn.
So stop trying to run away because it scares you. Stop running. And look around first, look at the darkness, look at why you even feel so hopeless.
Maybe it is something big. Maybe it is something very small or maybe it isn’t anything at all. That doesn’t matter. Stop being so scared of the darkness within you honey.
You’ve seen and accepted your light, it’s time to love your dark too.