“Honestly? I am breaking you” she choked, “and you are breaking me”.
He took a deep breath and took a step towards her. She continued, “I cannot take this anymore, whatever game you are playing. I know I but I’ve already said sorry. And, I meant it.I don’t know what sick revenge this is, I don’t understand, but I’m sorry, I am sorry, SORRY” she screamed with her hands wide open in helplessness towards him.
She took another deep breath and tried stabilising her shaky tone “but I can’t stay and watch it anymore. I can’t watch you with her. I need to go”.
Silence followed her words as dogs barked far away.
“You are not leaving me.” he declared after a while in an almost alpha voice. All the games vanished from his voice.
The mask of indifference had cracked. This was exactly what she always did to him. Got the real him out.
“There are so many things, so many problems….it’s alright I guess! It’s the right thing to do, maybe, you know? I mean, you’ll be happy with her and have a whole wedding and I’ll come to it, if you invite me that is” she laughed bitterly, “but you’ll be happy and that’s all I really want. We are not good for each other. I need to…leave” she choked and looked up into his eyes. He quickly held her by her arms and pushed her back. Until her back was pressed against the wall and his nose was an inch away from hers.
He took a sniff of her scent. “No. Don’t go. Not yet”. She could feel him breathing, his heart pounding and him blazing. Actually, it was his eyes that were blazing with an icy fire in them. He looked directly into her eyes, demanding, demanding her to see the truth. T hat he cannot lose her. Demanding her to stop whatever bullshit she was saying and to just, stay. She always fell for those eyes. She always thought they spoke to her, ‘oh how wrong was I’ she thought.
Her scent made his mind blurry, her hair, even her breath stole the air from his lungs.
He kept studying her, almost like deciding whether to stay calm or pounce. He chose the latter.
In an instant, he whispered ” You are not leaving me” and attacked her neck. Licking, biting, sucking, kissing, claiming. A shudder ran through her and his arms wrapped themselves around her waist. Her hands found their way to his hair and for a second, it felt like nothing was ever wrong with them. That they were just a normal couple, in a dark valley, under bright stars.
Just for a moment, it felt like they were still together like they were still in love, like they still had a chance to be in love.
That’s when she remembered “You have a girl”, she managed to croak out in breathlessness. He stopped instantly and looked in her eyes with a sly grin.
“Yes, yes I do have my girl”, he said in such a smooth tone, almost as if he was talking about her and not someone else.
“So this is cheating on her?”
His smirk turned into a full fledged grin. “I don’t understand how”
She raised an eyebrow.
“You’re my only girl that I know of” he whispered, his eyes filled with humour.
“You fuck face! You are dating someone! Don’t say all that to me!”
“And why shouldn’t I?” His grin still evident and his arms still holding her with all his strength.
“I am not going to be that ex you cheat with and I am not….”
He leant in and kissed her. He kissed her. He was kissing her! And everything felt right in this world. Maybe he was a cheater, maybe she was a slut, maybe the world was burning down but neither of them could care less. She was in his arms again.
He was holding her, she was kissing him, they were touching. Everything felt so natural yet so new that the explosions in them made no sense. Somewhere in between the kiss a small voice spoke the truth. She loves him, she loves every inch of that fuck face. Even though she hated that she loved him, she couldn’t help but drown in the moment. He held on to her, holding her tight as if she would disappear in thin air if he would let go. He was marking her, his. When they stopped for a breather she asked, ” so now you made me that crazy ex that…”
“Geez you think and talk too much”
“And damn do I love it” he gave a cheeky grin and savoured her lips again. Slowly, this time. Pulling her into him. How could she resist him?
“You are not a crazy ex” he whispered.
“Then what am I? What are we? Why are we kissing?”“Because we both want to” he replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Damn him!
“I am going” she stated and tried pushing her way out of there.
He caught her arm and pulled her back to the wall. His mood suddenly changing.
“I said you are not leaving me.”
“Well, I am not staying to watch all that!”
“All you kissing someone else the way you used to kiss me!”
He just held her tighter. “I think I established that you aren’t going anywhere”.
“And I care what you say because?”“You love me.” he said it so casuallyAlmost as a taunt. All the colour drained from her face, everything felt like it was at a standstill. She couldn’t breathe.
“Just like I love you” his tone was casual but his eyes were anything but. Blue intense snow storms. She looked at him with just one question on her mind. ‘Then why is he with her?’
“Because I am a fuck face” he replied. And she laughed.
“So you love me huh” she whispered poking his stomach.
He hugged her and buried his face in her hair and murmured
” mmmhhmmm always have”
Minutes passed as they stood still holding each other, just feeling, before he whispered.
” it’s been you, it’s always been you. I am sorry. I am sorry for this”
“I am sorry too” she hugged him so tight as if afraid to lose this dream.
Maybe it was one. Tomorrow everything will be back to normal. To the way it was. She’ll be gone. They just had tonight to live this fairytale anyways. So she took his luscious lips in her control again. “Just tonight”, she whispered to him. Just one more night of letting the world burn to ashes. Just one more night of feeling whole again…