What it felt like to win for the First Time, ever

My head was spinning a little, my legs felt like they would give in at any moment and between it all I felt like flying. Yet somehow  it all felt right.

It is a very weird emotion, you want to live in that moment forever but want it to end soon. So you can run and feed that hunger that begins growing in you with that happiness. It is like adrenaline. You want more and more of it.  This growing hunger screams ‘we need to get more of these medals’. This hunger slowly drives you insane but keeps you sane too.

My name was announced, I got up and walked towards the podium. There were about a thousand insects in my stomach but I don’t think I had ever smiled this hard before. I shook hands with the guest of honor and she beamed at me, there was a congratulation in her smile. I smiled back with my pearly whites on display.

My head was spinning a little, my legs felt like they would give in at any moment and between it all I felt like flying.

Yet somehow  it all felt right. I climbed up on the block with number 3 painted on it and then carefully on the number 1. Right in front of me in the stands was my mother. Clapping along with all the other parents. There was pride splattered all over her face like paint with a kid. I had beaten the odds. I had won. I could take off to the clouds right then.  This moment was finally here.

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same moment, my stomach was heavy but was full of warmth, my heart was beating too fast and my smile couldn’t stretch wider. I was happy to say the least. 

The principal hung a shining, cold gold medal around my neck and I knew I would burst out of everything within me. This was the first achievement of my life. When the hopeless girl with no talent took the golden medal, everyone clapped. For the first time ever, my heart swelled up with pride for myself. I had achieved something. I had won this. On my own. I deserved this . It’s a weird emotion to achieve something for the first time in your life. It’s like the clouds part away and give way to the sun in between a dark war. It happens when you least expect it. When you are just about to give, when you are just about to accept the hopelessness of it all.

It is a very weird emotion, you want to live in that moment forever but want it to end soon. So you can run and feed that hunger that begins growing in you with that happiness. It is like adrenaline. You want more and more of it.  This growing hunger screams ‘we need to get more of these medals’. This hunger slowly drives you insane but keeps you sane too.

That day filled me up to the brim, it was the first time I looked at myself with respect. I guess that was my biggest achievement from everything else. I saw myself in the mirror and saw a winner.

 No, I did not win the Olympics. No, I did not change the entire world with one gold medal. Yet my world had changed. It might be a small event for them but it was huge for me. One victory in a small event changed how I looked at myself. For me, that is still my greatest achievement ever.  How a small victory changed how I looked at myself.

I can never forget that day.

What they say is true after all. The victory after many failures is the one worth achieving. The only one worth having.

I can never forget that day. The day, a shinning gold medal was hung around my neck. The day I won from myself.

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I was recently told to write about the most precious moment of my life. Here is what I did write. Sorry I couldn’t post last week. Things have been eating up my time. Not anymore though. I will work on this.

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