Fears

Fearing age


Since this is a new blog and you all dont have any idea about me. I decided to do a post about myself! The question that popped up in my head was What is our biggest fear?

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No I am not talking about the ones from spiders or heights or anything like that. I am asking about your biggest fear from life. Is it dying too early ? Not being able to live enough? Not being able to do the things you wanted to. The things you ve dreamt of? Well my biggest fear is living for too long.

Did you just go like ‘what?’ in your head? Well do let me explain. Imagine sitting by the window being 60 year old, retired from your job , having pains in the joints and fake teeth, so many friends and memories forgotten, so many dreams unfulfilled, your lovely children all grown up with families of their own. And you Feeling like a burden on them even when they tell you otherwise.

Feeling dependent on others for the stupidest things and finding yourself taking the frustration out on the love of your life. Wanting to get out and live some life but you are so wrapped up in chains and you body wouldnt even allow you to do half the things you would want to. You need to learn the art of growing old but all you want to do is stay young.

Looking back at memories you can only remember some parts. You wonder if your school friends are even alive but you don’t have the courage to contact them somehow. You start getting up but your back kills you. You try and find humour in the fact that you wanted to travel after retirement. But all you find is regret. Regret for all the things you Dint do and there you sit by the window waiting for death to take you.

That. That is exactly what I am scared of. There are a lot of things I know I’ll come in my future that I am scared of too but this is the biggest one. As a teenager that thought scares me the most. To be honest i dont think its just a teenager thing but it scares the hell out of me never the less. The thought of being dependent, of losing my self worth/my confidence , losing myself to aging and just ending up a frustrated woman slashing out on everyone. I don’t mind admitting it scares the hell out of me but We all are going to get there sometime , I know a lot of people living above the age of 60 personally. And they are pretty happy seeing their kids and grandchildren but even the thought of just being dependent on others for me to be happy, forgetting they will want to make the same mistakes as me is just fearful. Well this is my biggest fear from the future, what would be yours? Do tell me! I am curious as hell!

Credits for picture – http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/120319052055-scared-woman-portrait-story-top.jpg

69 thoughts on “Fearing age”

  1. Hey,
    You can have a bit optimistic view of life, you know. If this is some random article, it’s good to read. But, it is in your about me section, Just try positivity. Trust me, I’ve been doing that all my life and have several stories to share. It is all based on your perspective. Just thoughts. No offence 🙂

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    1. None taken! I agree with you honestly it was a mistake that this article got linked to my about. I’ll remove it as soon as I can and take you up on that advice. Will add some positive article there. Thank you so much!

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  4. Wow, I read this and found myself slightly laughing, because I’m twenty-five and I’ve already lived through your fear. Everything but the actually being old part. The pain, the loneliness, the not wanting to be a burden. It was the result of recovering from a surgery, but complications and future health implications meant that how long I would be dependent and in pain, living the life of a depressed elderly person without being elderly, without the memories to fall back on, was indeterminate. True, I’m twenty-five, so there’s always hope, and there was hope when it all happened at 22, but for a 60 year old there’s hope too.
    Physical pain can be endured, and wonderful things can happen.

    Anyway, since I’ve gotten through that and accepted the pain and being dependent upon others…I think perhaps, my greatest fear is…not doing God’s will, not using the talents he’s given in the way he wants to bring the most joy to the world,or what truejoy1986 said.
    Other than that, I know that pretty much anything horrible that comes my way will be dealt with some way or another, as long as I’m in line with God’s will for me and accept it. I just would like to see it a bit more clearly, to love a bit more deeply, and live my life in a way that improves the world and makes people happier and brings them closer to God, to help them live lives closer to him.

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  5. ‘I am 23 three now, but will I live to see 24? The way the things are going I don’t know…’ Vaguest Quote from Coolio, Gangsta’s Paradise.

    Teenage is the time in life, besides party & induced horniness, when the personality SHOULD learn to find its way in society. Growing old is a learning process, and I remember a discussion about 30th birthday, when the last remnants of youth were officially gone from our lives… It crushed the ego, but rebuilding it is another lesson of life.

    By now I am 43, and while the physical downgrades are a pest, the experience of having survived that long (I once considered myself to die around age 28) instead toughened the part which once was afraid.

    I had become urban homeless against my will, and while ‘Going for the Green’ may be overdoing it, it is WISE to take care that you have enough money to make a decently comfortable living. Learn to hold yourself in a job, maybe even contemplate what kind of job you can still do, when your body grows older.

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  6. My biggest fear is getting to the end of my life and finding that I have learned only to live a selfish life: living outside of the will of God because I know when I am in His will, I impact people. I like ministering to the needs of others, and I don’t want to live a selfish life and find I have barred others out, or ignored those I was placed on this earth to have helped.

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    1. That is so sweet. I never thought about it that way. I have just always helped anyone who came my way and then sped to my goal. But yeah reaching the end and thinking all my life I was selfish would be scary. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing this! Really appreciate it!

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  7. I’m afraid of being forsaken by God. It’s not a real fear because I know it cannot happen, but just if I let myself imagine a life where that is not only possible but very real. For instance, when I hear about people who believe in a god who could actually abandon them. That is terrifying.

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    1. I understand fears are very senseless sometimes. To actually think of it, it is terrifying. But don’t worry! A father won’t abandon his child! May God be with you ! Thanks for stopping by!!

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  8. Interesting post. I’m not sure how old you are, but 60 doesn’t seem that old. I’m 44, and my parents are deep into their 60s and they are both still very active, and have better memories than me!
    For me, my biggest fear is not being able to play a full part in the lives of my children. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at age 30 and find myself declining year on year. I have been in a wheelchair for about 6 years and work 2 jobs, but i do not know what the future holds for me. I’m already dependent on others for parts of my life, so the future is scary for me, but for different reasons.

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  10. My fear is fear. It is what I sometimes write about, peeling away the layers that bind me up. That being said, I like your young thoughts on this. Just let me say how fortunate I think you are, to be creating, through your words. Creation will always save you, now and into your old age. I have only begun to realize how true this is as I move into my 60’s. I recently retired. I just recently began to blog because I know that my creations (words, woodworking, gardening, etc) will save me, no matter what is still to come. Thanks for your words!

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    1. Wow that is true. Writing does save us all now. Doesn’t it? Wow thanks for making me realise that. Haha thank you for liking my young thoughts xD. I started blogging recently too like 3-4 months ago? It’s become like an hobby now! Like a part of my life. Words have saved me and now I am just so grateful for them. Thank you so much for stopping by and making me realise that! Goodluck with the blog ! 😉

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  11. My deepest fear is not that I´m inadequate, my deepest fear is that I´m powerful beyond measure. It is my light not my darkness that most frightens me, me playing small does not serve the world there is nothing enlighting so that other people won´t feel insecure around me. I think we were all ment to shine as children do and is not just in some of us it´s in everyone and if I let my light shine, I unconsciously give other people permission to do the same, since I´m libertated from my deepest fear. Our presence automatically liberates others.

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    1. That’s a lot of thinking and a good friend recently taught me over thinking kills the joy. Shine if you want to and yup others will shine too but they will shine whether u shine or not. You can’t stop them saying u can’t shine cause I am not. Everyone is going to do what will help them survive. I really think you shouldn’t lower Ur shine for anybody. Ever! Our presence always will liberate others. But you its not a competition who out shines the other. We all can shine together like the stars! Well that’s what I think. Thanks for sharing it with us!

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      1. No problema (about sharing with the others), did you say over thinkig, me? Nope, probably found out while a long time ago and probably fox, you are a fox,i tought you where a dog,bu no you had to be a fox!!! anyways hilly the mays, wasn´t born yesteday, had a quite alife, and still have my life, that is a miracule, so her goes the saying:

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      5. a r u saying me me-taaaal?….drundk–woooya! haven´t slept from last nith wich as qute a..fright? Even more, so i did score and watch porn sorry i meant a horn,so . Fuck it.
        Just wondering what could you respond to this

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      6. Hahahahahaha is that a challenge?? I dint sleep last night either high five bro! Yeah u watched the bulls horn all night. The bull in the bar told me Ur freakyy xD

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      7. Only just freaky…hell, I thought i was much more than that.

        What if I told you I had a guy going for me with a knife and took it from him, wich he had to go to the ho-spital, and almost stab him. Ain´t that freaky right?

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      10. I told you I don’t believe it geez. But that would be a real action packed scene you know. And it d be in the name of self defense! So not that creepy

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      13. I was infantry, if I couldn´t handle guns it would be quite pointless to first get into that job and second and most important do that job in a screwed up country full of nut Jobs that are not very happy to see you and your buddies there. So you better not only know how to handle guns but there´s quite much more to it.

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      14. That not only sounds but legit is pretty badass. So you get sent to another country for gaurd? Oh I always wanted to ask this too xD How do you keep a gun with you all the time! They are heavy! Like really!

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      15. Still going at it? Last one.
        The rifle which was the standard issued HK-36 weght 3 and a half kilos, you do have other type of heavy caliber weapons you have to walk around with, and how do you keep a gun with ourselves all the time, it was our job, not cool if they´re shooting at you and you have to say, please stop I need to find my weapon and then we can keep on with the fight and in the meantime you throw them rocks. And to the first question we were sent there to kick out whatever taliban nut Jobs or Al qaeda freeks where there, so a lot off, as the americans say “conetic enrgy” which is another way to say that there was quite a lot of firefights. Once you kicked them out or killed the the next mission was to consever that patch of ground, patrol a road, be on guard also, so then the NGO´s and the other units of the army could come in and build schools, hospitals a damn road which we hated and the rest.

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      16. Any more questions you´ll be directed to join the military and find out for yourself. Plus you´d have a cool Nick name ” the fox”, everybody has have to get a nickname. It´s tradition, at least here in Spain.

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      17. Hahahahaha throw rocks right charly! Geez what are you doing!! You hated it? Why? Isn’t it a good thing? Schools hospitals and whatever bullshit…Foxes are damnn cool! Really everyone does? What’s urs? and that doesn’t count as a question! Shush xD

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      18. They actually called me “el terrosista or terrorista” since my last name comes from the Vasc Country ( which is a northern province of Spain which they want the Independence from Spain and we have a terrorist group called ETA, kind of like the IRA but the Spanish version of it) so that was my nickname, “the terrorist”, which we all had quite some laughs with it. Me (the terrorist) fighting against the real terrorist. Quite the irony we found in that nickname and some good laughs which is always a good stress reliver in those situations.

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      19. Hahaha it is funny somehow xD Let’s kick them terrorists outta here! We ll let one terrorist live tho xD Thanks for being honest with me tho. And nope I m not talking bout the nickname thing haha

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      20. You asked too many questions, don´t mind responding to most of them. But now, close the chapter and move on to another thing.
        Maybe this weekend I´ll send you the challenge, and you BETTER like it, think is the best thing that you have read in your life, that includes above Shakespeere.

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      21. Hey I got excited okay! Yeah I’ll have a tough time moving on but I will survive this break up xD To be honest? Ive read 3 Shakespeare plays and I don’t really like him xD Now before you kill me….he just says normal stuff in an amazing language. But it wasn’t common then I get that. It’s just there alotta loop holes in his stories some obvious some not. And I dint really like them xD Oh you need to pull Ur socks up for that dude I ve got good entries already !

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      22. Actually the last time I read Shakespeere was probably in highschool, some short little thing. That old English was boring for me.

        No no, you just wait until you get my story, if I find the one I have in some part of the closet stacked away which I wrote when I was in college or my last year of highschool Í guarantee you´ll have a laugh with it. Don´t expect it to see it in your blog, but laugh you will. Kind of outrageous that´s for sure. Lets see if I find it this weekend.

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      23. Yeah I don’t like old school English either. It is boring!!! I read it cause…idk it sounds cool to say I ve read Shakespeare xD Yeah go go do it! I challenge u to crack me up! I need it haha Aww it won’t be on my blog? Why not?

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  12. Let me “shock” you. I’m 67. I don’t ever remember a time when I thought about “getting old” but as I closed in on 50, I made that year my last, each one after would be what I called “sudden death over-time” thus, a gift from life to me. I can assure you, getting “old” is wonderful if you just let it happen and you fill your life “now” to the hilt. Live, just live. Each year, give more of yourself to others, and think less about getting and life expands like a birthday balloon. These are the best years of my life… and thanks to my concept of living in sudden death over-time, it’s all free now. I’m retired from a regular job and family raising, so now I do volunteer work, basically helping where needed, where my skills fit. It’s just great. I still exercise, I run, I kayak, swim, whatever is in season. I still watch birds, take pictures, whatever I did before, but more of it now. It’s really pointless to fear getting old – why fear the inevitable? But there are ways to live one’s life that make getting older a wonderful thing. Honesty with oneself is one of those ways. Here’s something for you which life has taught me: life is for giving… and… life is forgiving. What really makes life beautiful to its last breath? Acceptance, forgiveness, humility, gentleness, compassion and giving of yourself to others without any expectations. That’s the light side of the Force, and may it be with you.

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    1. Honestly I read it and stared at it for a bit. That actually makes me feel better about it. That’s inspiring because I ve only known people who reach that age and sit at home the whole day ending up in frustration. I will remember the “death over time” thing for sure. I apply it to my life right now too but in a way that what if I die tom? So I do whatever I want to, atleast try. Exercise is so important! It is point less but I did not want to depend on anyone ever in my life. Even if its my own blood. I do realise there are ways to live life but I always just saw age sucking life out of people. So I couldn’t imagine anything else. You made me realise it depends on us how we are. I am so grateful for that. Thank you so much! I guess giving in limits and to the right people is important.
      By the way I do volunteering work too! *high five*

      Thank you! May the force be with you too 😉

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    2. I am 58. I will be 59 next year. Everyday is a New Day – really. It is about taking each day and making it your own. Living life to the fullest. Yes we all have fears. We can not allow those fears to strangle us. I keep the mindset of a 13 year old. It does help to hang out with my grandson, who introduces me as his Cha Cha – and we explore music together and hang out at the beach, and museums . My next feat is tackling his hover board. Age is in your head. Keep living everyday as if it is your last.

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      1. That is beautiful advice. I completely agree. Listening to stories like these actually make me feel a little calmer. I love looking at people living their life with fun gusto and power. Congratulations to you to have made it in the adult world and preserving yourself at the same time. I guess, I just need to find my balance while you try the balance on the hoverboard! Goodluck with that!

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  13. A very interesting article. I think my worst fear is that not living up to my full potential and regretting it. I wouldn’t want to “waste” any talents or not explore different aspects of my life. Thought-provoking post! Thank you for sharing.

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  14. Pingback: Inside a broken castle | Being1nsane

  17. I only have one fear. I am wearing a crisp new suit and going to meet someone really special. As I am about to say hello, a bird craps on my suit and my head. Just kidding!!
    Good post. I find old people serene. They are so content with life. At least the ones I know. That depending on others thing must be a negative to balance out all the positives like experience and the ability to empathise.

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    1. Hahaha that made me smile! Maybe they are serene but I still cant imagine myself in their place really. Guess it does have its negatives and positives too no wonder its called second childhood now right?

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  18. I fear not being able to make a change and not being appreciated enough for the stuff I did or will do..(never thought on the topic before though..)
    But what is life without ups and downs? 🙂

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  19. I fear dementia, being locked in a world that burdens my loved ones. I don’t want others responsible for caring for me when I am unable to offer them thanks, joy, and I become a hopeless, costly expense within their lives. I love my children and tell them I’ll come back to haunt them if they take on the burden of caring for me. I believe assisted suicide is a positive when we consider the responsibilities we place upon others at the prime of their lives and the joy hood of their children’s.

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    1. That is exactly me. I wouldn’t be able to live being a burden on anyone else, I would rather stay in a shitty old age home with others so I don’t feel that way. But on the contrary someone told me that kid’s main responsibility is to take care of their parents, still being an expense on my kids is also a nightmare for me. Thank you so much for the time you took our to comment!

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  21. Hahaha! 60! I feel ancient suddenly. I will feel so blessed to make it to sixty, and count every ache and pain along the way as testament to the struggles and challenges that shaped me into who I am. Something tells me that you’ll probably feel very similarly when you start feeling a little creak in those bones…

    My biggest fear is failing to leave my mark, in some way, upon this world. Failing to inspire my children, or anyone else. Failing to be remembered when I’m gone.

    🙂 Loving your blog so far…you are a talented writer.
    Lori

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    1. Omg! Yes thinking about it maybe I will haha. I am sure your blog and writing is inspiring enough people to leave your mark behind! I myself do loads of tiny things to leave a mark (at least hope to!) Haha
      Thank you so much it means a lot to me!!

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